Found my old diary; opened to a random page and got this from April 4th, 2010:

". . . the thought came to me that Heavenly Father doesn't always ask us to do what we think we can, sometimes He asks us to do what we know we can't. That's how He gets to touch and strengthen our lives."

Another wound has opened

Just as I felt myself passing another round of healing from your loss a new wound opens up. Our beloved Muffin has been diagnosed with breast cancer and faces surgery, possibly combined with radiation & chemotherapy. Unlike your case, her chances of survival are good - in the 90% range - but the blow is starting to sink me. She seems to be holding up well, and we WILL get through this; I just wish we didn't have to :-(

The caption for this picture reads, "The only thing that matters". For her that is one person; for me it is two. Thank you for being where you are, watching over us and walking beside us in your kind, gentle way.

Your headstone looks great!

I had to wait to post the photo I took until I got home because my tablet has difficulty with pictures, but your dad & sister, Olivia, picked a nice, simple headstone with snapdragons on it. The only thing I would have liked to add would have been the one scripture I told myself I would put on a headstone if the Unthinkable happened and I lost a child:

"The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21

I am surprised at the closure this little monument brings. I feel the cycle of grief has been completed in some way & I can move on to the rest of my life while still revering yours. It's like I don't feel I have to keep checking up on you any more. I will still miss you (always) and go to visit when I can, but some part of the wound in my heart has been healed.

Arohanui, Gingle.