'Rissa is right; we are moving further away from that dreadful day. That ought to feel good, but it doesn't. I so desperately want to hold onto you and I feel I can only do that through pain. It's that "selfish" thing again (see my first post). I think it made me feel important, being there with you to help you bravely soldier on.
"Bunkum!" You were right to object to us "taking over your illness" as you once stated. We're just hangers-on left with only a bright star of memory to cling to; and cling we will, whenever we feel you slipping away from our immediate memories. You gave us a rallying cry of togetherness that is slowly drifting back to normalcy. After you left I determined to call your siblings every week, and I did for a while. Now I try to remember they have lives & don't need to hear from me so much.
That's why I had stopped calling you every Sunday; then you were gone. Now it's been a year and I think I'm supposed to move on.
I don't WANT to!
I don't want to, either...
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